Sadness about giving up…

I can’t go on with my masters…  I am not being able to dedicate any time to it and it is making me suffer too much.

I have always demanded a lot from myself and not being able to dedicate enough time to this has been bothering me since the beginning.  Now that I am not being able to find even some minutes at the weekend — when I am too tired to think about mathematical equations, logic problems, processes, etc. — I have finally decided on giving up.

It all started a bit more than two years ago.  I spent time watching classes, reading books, reading articles, solving problems and equating things, but now…  I am letting it all go.

It is hurting a lot to take this decision.  But it will hurt much more trying to finish it.

I have tears in my eyes…  But the simple thought of not having this pressure that I impose on myself relieves me and makes my body relax.

The pain is not emotional only, it gets to the physical level.

I will be better letting it go…  I just need enough courage, now, to go to the university and request the cancellation and say goodbye to everyone.

I wish I had the possibility of dedicating myself to research, but unfortunately this is something I can’t do.  Somebody has to pay my bills and unfortunately that person is me 😦

Life keeps going on…


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